Fill In The Jesus Blanks

from Doug Perry - (www.FellowshipoftheMartyrs.com) - download printable PDF file here
Try this. Maybe it will help put things in perspective: 

Rev. 3:20  Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND believes that the rapture is pre-tribulational, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Just doesn't sound quite right does it?  How about these?

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND is a member of the correction denomination, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND is NOT a member one of the INCORRECT denominations, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND insists on only using the Authorized 1611 King James, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND has a perfect understanding of the Trinity, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Hmmm.  Sure can't get comfy with those either! Let's keep trying.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND helped pay for the new chandelier in the sanctuary, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND is sure that I don't do signs and miracles anymore, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND is clear that I don't talk to people anymore since the Bible was completed, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

Wow, that last one is REALLY screwy! How do we hear His voice to know He's there if we don't think He speaks anymore? That's a problem. I wouldn't want to be the pastor preaching that one!

So try it yourself. Just plug anything in there and see if it still sounds like Jesus. 

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door AND__________________________, then I will come in and eat with him and he with me.

(I guess it's possible that all you have to do is answer the door, but that's just too simple. There has to be more to it than that!  Right? I mean, what's the point of all our books and seminaries and denominations if it's as simple as that?!)

How about this:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoseover believeth in Him AND was a five-point Calvinist  would be saved.

No? Aw, c'mon!  These? It's fun! Go find your own verses and have a game with your friends.

If you abide in Me, then I will abide in you SO LONG AS you never speak in tongues.

If you abide in Me, then I will abide in you UNLESS you use drums and overhead projectors in your church.

And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He who has the Son AND a proper technique in administering Communion has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life.

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name AND were quick to find error in another Brother, he gave the right to become children of God—

Oh, and don't worry about that verse about not adding anything to the Bible. He was probably just kidding. Feel free to doctor it up however you like and tell everyone Jesus said it. I'm sure He won't mind.

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